What makes an activist? I'm not sure I've ever understood what it means to be an activist. When I was younger I always thought it meant you were poor, devoted yourself to one cause and didn't have much of a life outside that cause. Oh, and that you didn't shower very much. That's partly because my family members who were activists were former hippies, and they fit that stereotype.
So when I was suddenly labeled a "bi activist," I balked at first. And in a way, I felt guilty. I was thrust to the forefront of bi spokesmanship because of a few articles I wrote that struck a chord with people. I went on
"The Donahue Show" with lifetime activists such as Lani Ka'ahumanu and Robyn Ochs and people who spent thousands of hours working for the bi cause. I didn't deserve to be among them, I thought. And I certainly wasn't in a position to help fund their causes.
Nevertheless, for the last decade I've been part of national and local bi groups. I've sat and debated for hours about how we were going to spend the $300 we'd raised for the year. I've listened to arguments about paying extra to be all-inclusive for the wheelchair-bound, deaf, blind attendees to our conferences who never showed up. I've been bored out of my gourd being educated about politically correct language ("We don't say male and female, we say multigendered") and having to use the consensus model of decision-making ("If one person objects, we work it out until everyone is in agreement") and giving sparkles, not applause ( the wiggling of fingers, rather than the more intrusive smacking of hands).
I've listened to many diverse opinions of what it means to be bisexual, and how even a definition of bisexuality is a major bone of contention among bi activists. I've heard a lot of difference of opinion about the largest and longest
national organization of bisexuals, BiNet USA, and what it's supposed to mean, what it's supposed to do and whom it's supposed to serve.
And still, I feel like I've not done enough. That, so I'm told by my bi activist mentor Lani (often considered the spiritual leader of the bi movement) is the true definition of an activist -- someone who feels like they've not yet done enough, but who is still exhausted working for the cause.
There's a fundraising campaign now for BiNet USA for its very survival, and in some ways it's a last gasp for a national bi voice to stay alive. I have to say, I've had mixed emotions. Part of me thinks it may be time to let it go. Part of me thinks it's wrong to depend on a few large donors to support the group, that the mission statement lacks focus, that there's no new leadership stepping up to
replace the leadership that made our group so vital. And, like a lot of other people, I've put aside my activist involvement and focused on more pressing, personal needs and goals.
They're asking for money, and now I'm in a much better position to give than I was a decade ago (though I'm certainly not rich). Whether or not to donate wasn't
the question, it was how much. Virtually every dime (and more) I've made writing about the B word (including the fun bi book I've received an advance on for Alyson but haven't even started) has gone to bi groups and causes. I have to tell you, though, that every day I get e-mails from new bi friends via this PlanetOut column, thanking me for my thoughts, information and inspiration. That keeps me going and realizing how important what we do is, even on a small scale.
So what should, what could I give? Faced with a few
thousand dollars worth of dental bills, a dying car, a dying father, an ever-increasing mortgage, an unsteady job and mounting medical bills, I could come up with many legitimate excuses for why giving could be difficult, and I don't think any of my friends would have blinked.
Then I tried to figure out what I got out of BiNet and what its value was to me. Is it possible to put a price tag on the friendships, sources, companions, compatriots and professional colleagues I've gained from this group? Is it possible to put a price tag on the self-awareness, the knowledge and the self-discovery I've gained through BiNet?
How many hours of work from my paycheck is it worth to me to save this organization? Putting a dollar figure on that even seemed petty, considering the countless thousands of free hours the people involved in the group before me have given up -- for me and for us all.
I kept coming back to one number. It's going to hurt me; it's going to set me back; it's going to challenge me; but it seemed to make sense. I gulped, and before I could think any more about it, I sent off $2002 to bring BiNet and the bi national movement into the year 2002. It doesn't matter how much anyone gives to BiNet USA to save it; it's just
that we all make some gesture, or give something more valuable: time.
Nobody will offer you a pat on the back. You'll rarely get thanks. You'll never get rich off it. And the fame is fleeting. But sometimes the sacrifice is worth being an activist. And you're allowed to take showers.
Anyone interested in BiNet USA and their mission and fundraising drive should go to www.binetusa.org.
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